Rose Quartz Reads: A Very Large Expanse of Sea // painful, hopeful, and beautiful

This book was powerful. So powerful that it has taken me almost a week to collect my thoughts properly. I just loved it that much, and scared, too, that I wouldn't do it justice. But anyone who reads it will see how personal a story this is, and will be struck by the raw emotion in every page.

A Very Large Expanse of Sea is the story of a Muslim American girl living in the aftermath of 9/11. As a proud wearer of the hijab, Shirin has spent her whole life putting up walls to protect herself from the world's hate. Pretending not to care about anything has left her angry and hurt, but the alternative is being vulnerable to the cruelty of others, and she is determined to not let it touch her. However, everything becomes more difficult when she meets Ocean, a kind boy who seems genuinely interested in getting to know her, and Shirin is forced to decide if her happiness is worth the negative attention.

I first sought out Mafi's Shatter Me series not based on the blurb, but her name. It was unquestionably Iranian, and I was in awe. Whenever I imagined getting my own stories out into the world, I felt certain that using my foreign-sounding name would instantly put people off picking up my books. But here was someone like me, who was not only a bestselling author, but got there using her actual name.

I ended up falling completely in love with the Shatter Me books, reading them all this Spring in just a few days. So when I heard about AVELOS, I knew I had to read it.

This book, people. This book! It had me crying at the 3% mark. There were so many tiny things I could relate to. The names, the food, the fact that when Shirin's parents asked their guest if he wanted more food and he said no they dished more out for him anyway, and did the same when it came to tea. It was all the cultural things I knew and lived but never saw expressed in words before. I didn't even know it could be expressed in words. It was my reality made real.

It's important to clarify that I do not wear the hijab, and so there are a many number of things Shirin experiences that I have never felt myself. I grew up in a pretty diverse community, am white passing, and have a name that could pass as European if it wasn't questioned too much. I feel almost guilty for comparing my life to Shirin's, because really there's no comparison. But I've had those moments where people hear a country name and react strangely. Never the verbal abuse that Shirin receives, but looks, questions, and statements that are just blatantly incorrect.

Shirin is angry. And is totally in her right to be. Mafi does an excellent job of getting you into the minds of her characters, to understand what it's like to experience microaggressions and full on cruelty on a daily basis. But beneath all her abrasiveness is a character who is witty, stylish, and passionate about breakdance. She is real and human, something that people can forget in their ignorance.

AVELOS is a gorgeous book that reminds us that there is so much more to people than the assumptions we make about them. It's often crushing and full of heartache, but filled with a lot of hope too. There isn't anything out there right now that comes close to comparing to this book. It's about strength and growth and kindness and humanity, and it needs to be read.

Thank you to Edelweiss for providing me with this ebook in exchange for an honest review, and to Netgalley for providing a sampler.